Cheap Entertainment

I present for your consideration a real, actual blog post about a real, actual thing that happened to me today on my way home from work.

Usually, when a Street Person asks me for change, I say "Sorry, I don't have any." And usually when I say that, it's actually true. I rarely have coins on my person. Sometimes, though, when I do actually have change, I enjoy giving it out just for the privilege of listening to the Street Person's monologue for a few minutes. That was the case today as I was walking home from work. I learned the following interesting facts from a guy:

• He's going to buy beer. It might not be from 7-11 (which we were outside of), but he's going to buy beer.
• It has apparently been scientifically shown that cigarettes are good for you. (I'm not sure where he got that one.)
• All these psychological disorders, and all the pills you take for them, well, it has been shown that the pills are not only useless, but actually counterproductive.
• What would you think about people who were your friends, but betrayed you because you drink beer and smoke the occasional cigarette? All like "Oooh, he drinks beer! He's such an asshole! He's going to become an alcoholic!" What would you think of that? (I know, this isn't a fact. But it's still interesting. He didn't wait for my answer before moving on.)
• Psychological disorders are caused by your grandfather wanting to see you unconscious. Or other severe trauma.
• His, if anything, would be a case of severe depression, not bipolar disorder.
• He's 33. He started smoking weed when he was 13, and started dropping acid when he was 16.
• These people who hear things that aren't there, they must be hearing something. They must be hearing SOMEthing. They must be hearing SOOOOMEthing. (Emphasis his, not mine. I'm not sure where he was going with this, as he then started talking about something else.)
• A few years ago (seven, I think he said), he was diagnosed with schizo affective disorder. He has found that the only treatment that works is beer, exercise, and healthy eating.
• Fuck his friends, anyway. They're not really friends. They're just acquaintances who happen to be comforted by having people around them. (Actually, this one is from a different guy, who stopped to ask us if either one of us had a lighter he could use. I did not; the dude did.)

All these facts were delivered in a single very disjointed monologue, interrupted only occasionally by me saying "Yeah", "Mmmhmm", "Uh huh", etc. Also to answer a couple direct questions to me, such as "Do you smoke cigarettes?" and "Are you a psychology major?" That's right. He didn't ask what I study, or even if I was a student, just went straight to "Are you a psychology major?"

Aaaah, the joys of living in Berkeley.

I also gave a couple coins to a different guy, and I think I pissed him off a little bit. He asked for change, so I started reaching into my pocket and pulling out the coins I had, he held something out, and I dropped my coins into it. Then, I realized it was his drink. A large can of something alcoholic, wrapped in a paper bag. He offered me a drink, I pretended to take a small sip and handed it back. He asked me to "pop a squat" and drink with him, but I told him I was in a hurry, and started walking away. So he told me again to pop a squat, and was holding his drink, with my coins in it, out to me. So I just kinda laughed and kept walking. Poor dude. I hope he finishes his drink, and gets my coins out of it. I didn't really mean to do that; I was just trying to help a little bit. ;-)