For the past year or two, I have, to varying degrees and in varying ways, tried to stay on the bodily-maintenance-wagon. Recently, I’ve mostly been on the wagon: exercising on a set schedule, being mindful of what I’m eating (even if it’s not all good, I am generally aware of when I’m eating something that’s not good), getting a massage, going on vacation recently (that’s totally mental health), getting my eyebrows threaded regularly. I even recently got a pedicure for the first time. It feels like this time, I might actually be able to stay on the wagon.
I think a large part of staying on the wagon is mindset, and I recently came up with a new idea to help me keep that mindset. I’m calling it Occupy Your Body. The basic idea is that your body is yours; you have sovereign control over it, and it’s up to you what you do with it. You are the sole Occupier of it. You are the steward of it. You are its primary, and sometimes only, caretaker, and it is entirely up to you what happens with it. If it makes you feel good, do it! If it makes you look good, wear it! If you don’t like something about it, change it! Health! Comfort! Beauty! Pleasure! Respect! These are the principles of Occupy Your Body.
Health. “The state of being free from illness or injury.” I don’t know about you, but I like living. I like Occupying this body of mine. I’d like for that to go on for a long time. Generally speaking, the length of one’s life is not something over which one has direct, full control. But it’s also not completely out of one’s control, either. By doing things like making healthy eating choices, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, etc., you can increase the probability of your lifespan being long. Not only that, but you will FEEL GOOD, and really, that’s the ultimate goal here. Also, if something about your body seems amiss, unusual, or improperly functional, and doesn’t clear itself up quickly, go talk to a doctor. They generally know what’s up. An IRL doctor that you can talk to face-to-face is generally better than WebMD. ;)
Comfort. “A state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint”. In other words, a state of feeling good. This one is all about doing what you are comfortable doing. If the reason you shave your armpits and/or legs is because you have been socially pressured into it, if you’re not actually comfortable shaving and would rather not, then don’t. On the other hand, if you prefer the feeling of a soft breeze on bare skin, if you like the cleanliness of no armpit hair to hold sweat, or you prefer the aesthetic of smooth lines uninterrupted by hair, (or if you’re a badass swimmer like Michael Phelps), if you are more comfortable without hair on certain parts of your body than with, then by all means, shave (or wax or whatever you do). This applies equally to clothing. Wear what you are comfortable wearing, whether that’s a lot, a little, or nothing at all. If wearing a certain item of clothing makes you uncomfortable, consider NOT wearing it. If you’re not comfortable withOUT a certain item of clothing on, then wear it.
It’s worth mentioning here that the idea of Comfort applies not only to comfort in your body, but also to comfort in social situations. The choices you make about what to do with your body and what clothing to wear (or not wear) WILL have social ramifications. Feel free to go barefoot, or nude, or whatever, if you want, but realize that many places of business will deny you entrance. It’s not enough to just be comfortable with the action; you also need to be comfortable with all the consequences and ramifications of that action. We are, after all, social animals...
Beauty. “A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight.” (I originally called this one “vanity”, but I decided beauty would be a better, and broader, way to say it.) For ease of discussion, I’ll talk specifically in terms of pleasing the sense of sight, but please know that this principle applies to all senses, not just sight. This includes the less-thought-about senses such as, for example, your intellectual or moral sense. What pleases your senses? Do it. Does that baggy, ‘80s-purple sweatshirt make you smile any time you look at it? Wear it. Do you have a unibrow, but think that separate, distinct eyebrows would look nicer? Pluck, thread, or wax it. The important thing to note here is that it’s all about what you think is beautiful about your body, how you think you can enhance, accentuate, or draw attention to your innate beauty (which we all have). If your sense about what is beautiful for/on/with/to/about you happens to coincide with other peoples’ senses, great. If not, no problem; it’s your body. You are the one who knows what’s beautiful, as it relates to you. (This is not to disparage the work of fashion consultants or makeup artists or hairstylists or whatever. They are trained to know about these things, and their advice and suggestions are certainly worth listening to, if you’re interested in hearing it. But if they’re trying to sell you on something that you will think is ugly every time you see it in the mirror, don’t do it!)
Pleasure. “A feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.” Is it fun? Are you happy when you do it? Are you happy after you do it? Does it feel good to do? Then do it! What gives you a feeling of happy satisfaction? What do you enjoy? What can you do today, that, tomorrow, you will be pleased with yourself for having done? What will give pleasure to your future-self? These are the things you should be spending your time on! We don’t know what the future holds; you shouldn’t waste this life NOT having fun, NOT feeling pleasure. If you have a sweet-tooth, eat some ice cream. If you want your feet soaked and massaged and scrubbed, get a pedicure. Obviously, we can’t be in a state of 100% pleasure every waking moment of every day. But why not try to maximize your pleasure? (As with Comfort, it’s worthwhile to again talk about mindfulness of consequences. Want to get really drunk tonight? Awesome; do it. Just make sure your prioritization of Pleasure Tonight over Comfort Tomorrow is a conscious decision, rather than an unconsidered consequence. See below for discussion of prioritization.) I’ve been talking about doing fun things, but pleasure can come from more than just activities; it can come from a mindset. In fact, the mindset is even more important than the activity. I’ve known people who could do nothing but complain, even when they’re doing awesome things, and I’ve also known people who can smile, joke, and laugh while they’re exhausted, overworked, and behind deadlines. I’d say the latter people probably experience more pleasure from life than the earlier people, regardless of activity or circumstance.
Another important aspect of Pleasure is trying new things! How will you know if something will make you happy, if something will bring you pleasure, if you’ve never tried it? We all have our hobbies that we know we enjoy, and it can be easy to get stuck in the Comfort of doing the same things, day after day. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, to a certain extent. But everything was new, at some point or other. When you think about your favorite hobby, there was a day that you tried it for the very first time, not knowing whether or not you’d like it. (Of course, you can sometimes make good guesses about whether or not you’d enjoy something you’ve never tried, but you can’t actually know.) Your favorite hobby five years from now, the one activity that brings you the most Pleasure five years from now, might be something you have not yet ever tried. Sure, maybe sometimes you’ll try a new activity only to discover that you don’t enjoy it, that it’s not Pleasurable for you. This might not be much fun in the moment, but is still highly valuable in the long run, because now you know more about yourself, what you like and dislike, what sorts of things do and do not bring you Pleasure.
So. These are the principles I came up with for Occupy Your Body. Anything you do to, with, for, by, or on yourself can be weighed against these principles. You won’t always be able to satisfy all principles with all actions; you will sometimes need to prioritize one principle over another. Those red heels might be stunning, but they get really painful if you stand in them for too long. So are you going to prioritize Comfort or Beauty? Up to you. That big bowl of ice cream might be really tasty, but it has no nutritional value. Are you going to prioritize Health or Pleasure? Up to you. Your priorities might not be the same as someone else’s priorities, but you know what? It’s your body! It’s not theirs. Your priorities don’t have to be the same as theirs! And keep in mind that none of your decisions about priority are binding; you might prioritize Pleasure today, and Health tomorrow, and that’s okay. You can make that decision. You can change your mind; you can change your priorities. Ideally, you will satisfy as many of these principles as you can in any given situation, but when you have to prioritize one over another, it’s done on a case-by-case basis, and you are the only one who can make the final decision about your own priorities in any given circumstance.
I could go into methodology for choosing priorities, but that could probably be a whole post in and of itself. For now, let’s just say, if you want a long life, prioritize Health more often than not. If you want an intense and exciting life, prioritize Pleasure more often than not. If you want all the attention, prioritize Beauty more often than not. And so on and so forth. You can figure it out. But make it a conscious decision. And re-examine your priorities often. Occupying your body involves being fully present in the moment; not doing anything without being fully, consciously aware of what you are doing and what effect it has on your surroundings. The more aware you are, the more informed your decisions about priorities will be.
And finally, Respect. “To feel or show deferential regard for.” I read several definitions of this word online, and I think this one is probably the most appropriate for what I mean. I think if you’re living by the above four principles, and you’re consciously making your decisions and checking your priorities often, we can safely say that you are already respecting yourself and your body. But this principle is special. It’s less about yourself, and more about everyone else. A lot of what I’ve said in this post can come across as pretty selfish. And really, in a way, it is. I believe in certain kinds of selfishness. I want to do things that are good for me. I want to be in the best position for myself. I want my own life to be as good as it possibly can be, and I’m willing to do whatever selfish thing I need to do to make that happen, for the most part. There are limits to what selfish behaviors should be indulged in. Your sovereign rights end the moment they intrude on another being’s sovereign rights. Each person is sovereign in their own life. Each person wants their own life to be as good as it possibly can be, and each person makes their own choices to that end. We can influence other people’s choices, we can offer advice and suggestions, but ultimately, everyone makes their own choice, and everyone else needs to allow them the freedom to do that. I will Occupy my body, but you need to Occupy your body, not me. I want you to make your own decisions about what your priorities are, and to live by those decisions; I don’t want you to just do whatever I do. The moment you start enforcing your own ways of living on other people is the moment you step out of line with the principle of Respect. And while we can prioritize the other four principles as we see fit in the moment, this principle, as applied to other people, ALWAYS takes the top priority.
(It’s worth noting here that there are exceptions to every rule (including this sentence; WOAH!). I can think of several circumstances in which someone’s ability to make certain sovereign decisions SHOULD be restricted. Ideally, these are legally codified as crimes and formal systems of repercussion, consequence, and appropriate reformation/rehabilitation are in place.)
Your body is an essential part of who you are in this life. You don’t get another one; this is it. (We could get into #YOLO and reincarnation here, but that could be a whole blogpost unto itself. Here, we’re dealing with what we KNOW, and what we know is that we have this body, in this life. Maybe we get more, maybe we don’t, but we can’t count on it.) As such, it’s up to you to take care of it. It’s up to you to determine what to do with it. It’s up to you to guide it, and yourself, through this life on the path that you designate for yourself. It’s the only body and only life you are guaranteed; make the best of it and Occupy it!
